Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
