Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize