dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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