where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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