I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize