Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
