Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
