so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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