hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
