i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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