I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Screwed.edu
i came on her dog
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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