it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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