it wasn't lemon gatorade
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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