Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
