He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
