I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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