bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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