So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
