I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize