Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Randomize
Follow @tfln