so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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