Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(254): View more from Texas

Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp

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(228): View more from Mississippi

you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.

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(520): View more from Arizona

hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.

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(631): View more from New York

Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.

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