His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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