Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.

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  (678): Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting. http://tfl.nu/d568
  Replies (14) Good night (3295) Bad night (727)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.

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  (660): And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this. http://tfl.nu/if6q
  Replies (3) Good night (3116) Bad night (721)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...

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  (410): pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject... http://tfl.nu/bicl
  Replies (35) Good night (6853) Bad night (786)
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  (310): View more from California

  Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.

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  (310): Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you. http://tfl.nu/vvmp
  Replies (21) Good night (6087) Bad night (1533)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.

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  (845): Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore. http://tfl.nu/7ot8
  Replies (24) Good night (5927) Bad night (1959)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you

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  (810): Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you http://tfl.nu/vy0a
  Replies (21) Good night (5125) Bad night (1686)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.

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  (404): It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning. http://tfl.nu/70c1
  Replies (14) Good night (5229) Bad night (1393)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other

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  (506): All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other http://tfl.nu/mktv
  Replies (13) Good night (5342) Bad night (939)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.

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  (407): I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor. http://tfl.nu/1ho2
  Replies (4) Good night (3218) Bad night (1125)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck

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  (717): can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck http://tfl.nu/v7jv
  Replies (4) Good night (1583) Bad night (701)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.

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  (612): I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around. http://tfl.nu/8ahv
  Replies (4) Good night (1024) Bad night (354)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame

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  (727): I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame http://tfl.nu/nqk0
  Replies (6) Good night (1418) Bad night (357)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win

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  (425): I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win http://tfl.nu/52ex
  Replies (5) Good night (589) Bad night (262)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times

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  (602): Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times http://tfl.nu/cj8x
  Replies (0) Good night (506) Bad night (257)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree

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  (716): Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree http://tfl.nu/2wro
  Replies (1) Good night (264) Bad night (514)

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