Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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