My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
God I need to hump something, right now.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
