Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Boobs are out for the taking
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
