Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He felt like a one man threesome
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I have fence marks all over my body
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
