i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
