She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
