Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
