I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
