alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
