dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize