idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
