I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
