Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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