nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
