how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
