Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
