Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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