Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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