it wasn't lemon gatorade
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
