So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
