I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
birth control should be required to get into college
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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