Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
