hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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