We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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