im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize