At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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