There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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