At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
this just has baby written all over it
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
