ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
