Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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