help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
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The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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