WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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