so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You smell like stripper and shame
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
